Pre-Birthday Post

I'm alive... It is my Grandpa's birthday today, and it's 3 days to my birthday, and school officially ended for the summer yesterday. I passed all my classes, and I am ready to start summer off right.  Sleeping in and visiting estate sales! I'm only partly kidding. I'll hopefully be updating more frequently. :)

I don't have a whole bunch else to say... How have you been? Anything crazy happen in your life?

What Is Going On

So... I have been off the internet a bunch in the past few months... A bunch of stuff has been happening in my life, and I need to just put it out there without having the people I love tell me what is right and what is wrong....

Bruce and I have been dating since the end of last December. I moved in with him on October 19th. We're living with his parents at the moment, and they are wonderful lovely people, who by all accounts seem to adore me. We're looking at buying a house together, and we couldn't be happier with each other.

Our room is an absolute disaster, I'm sitting on the floor as I type this, and... well, I'll just give you a visual of the mess...

Hello!

Honestly, I've cleaned it up quite a bit.... but there's still a long way to go. ( and that's only a quarter f the room... you should see the rest.) I'm actually supposed to be cleaning right now, but I have ADD and my meds haven't quite kicked in yet. (It's not that I'm avoiding the cleaning.... Nope. Not at all.)

Anyhow, my parents are angry I've moved out, they're mad that I'm dating Bruce, they're just all around mad. My mother is furious with my dad's parents for wanting to get to know Bruce, and has pretty much cut them out of her life, for which I feel terrible, but she has to realize that she doesn't control anyone's life but her own, and she can't. Bruce isn't a bad guy, he's actually the best guy I've dated. He loves and adores me, but also respects me and treats me as an equal, not something to be put on a pedestal and elevated to impossible heights, but also not as a fragile china doll. He knows I am capable of doing things, and respects that, and that's one reason why I love him.

Over the past year I've come to realize that the only things I can control are my own actions, and how I react to the things other people do. My mom has done some things this past year for which I was furious with her about, however I have forgiven her. I just hope that in time she learns to do the same. I wish things were different, and I wish that I could change them, but another thing I've realized is that I am not responsible for the actions of those around me, nor am I responsible for the happiness of those around me. I am only one person, I can't do everything for everyone else, and be happy myself. The best I can do is to do things that will make me happy and try to please others. Which is not to say that I don't do things for other people, I do, but I am no longer making myself a martyr for those around me. I have realized that I have to stop sacrificing my own happiness and self worth for everyone else, because then I am unhappy. There is a balance to all things and I've found my way to that balance. It is hectic and stressful and sometimes makes me freak out, but I'm becoming a better, happier person, and that is what life is really all about.

And so, I'll update when I can, with whatever I can. I hope you understand.

Happy Holidays Everyone.

Brooke

Fifteen things.

There's a thing on Facebook where someone gives you a number and you have to say that many things about yourself that most people don't know... This is my list.

My number is 15 I am supposed to tell you 15 things about me that you may or may not know. If you like or comment I will give you a number if you haven't been given one yet.

1. I work 4 jobs.
2. I have ADD and Depression
3. I love to read when I have free time.
4. I'm terrible at cleaning.
5. I'm fairly crafty.
6. I like to sew, and can make a stuffed hippo in under 3 hours.
7. I may look like I know what I'm doing, but I honestly have no clue 99% of the time.
8. Many people think I have my life together, but I don't.
9. I love kids.
10. People asking me questions makes me feel anxious.
11. I may not look like I care what anyone thinks of me, but I really do.
12. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the people in my life.
13. I hide my insecurities behind a curtain of Bravado and false confidence.
14. I have a morbid sense of humor.
15. I'm a coward.

 In doing this I realized that I've been fooling myself about things as much as I've been fooling other people. It's funny how when after a period of time of acting a certain way for the rest of the world to see you start to forget that you're only pretending, how you're somehow able to convince yourself that everything is ok, and you're perfectly fine. How you're able to lie to yourself so convincingly that you don't question it unless you actually do some inner reflection.

 I don't feel like a fraud, but I do know that I'm not actually the person I appear to be from the outside looking in.

Teaser

This is a Teaser for an upcoming post that I'm working on...

My friend is in orange, Bruce is blue... I didn't feel like typing "friend' over and over....

First Day of Classes.. Yay?

So, I'll be writing a more complete post once I've had some time to get over the trauma of my first class.... But I'm back to the grind.... And I have a 12 hour clinical rotation on an L&D floor on Friday... Yay for screaming women...

Anyhow... School... It's a bitch. I want it to be done... And I only had 2 and a half hours of class today... This is going to be a long semester...

Dear God I'm Busy...

So, I haven't had much down time, I've been working like crazy. However, I apparently have had enough time for Arts and Crafts... So here's my latest bunch of things I've done...

For Bruce, Just because.

For my Grandma, for her birthday.

For Bruce's Brother and Sister-in-law,
to commemorate the christening of their children.

For my family.

For Bruce's mother, as decor for her bedroom...
I did two of this one, identical mirror images.

 So, apparently I enjoy melting Crayons... A bunch. Because this is how I de-stress... I do arts and crafts... Plus, right now at Meijer you can get 24 packs of crayons for 50 cents. And you can buy packs of canvases in bulk at Michaels for 20 bucks... Which is awesome. And will be a major reason I'm out of money. Because, Impulse Control, I Do Not Has It.

I may have lied a little...

When I said I'd be back to a more regular posting schedule, I may have lied a little... It has been crazy busy for me over the past few weeks, and I haven't had time to do much of anything really.  But Bruce was totally awesome yesterday. He sent me a text that said "I got you a thing"and had a photo attached...

That is Bruce's hand holding the book.

It's the most recent book from My Absolute Favorite Series.... He is the best boyfriend ever. Now I just have to find the time to read it.... :D

I Am Back!

I'm back from my hiatus in the woods. And I have a spiffy new piece of artwork to show for it!

Mary Poppins in the most colorful London rain you have ever seen. Now I'm humming Chim-chim-Cher-ee to myself...

Anyhow, I should be back to more regular post intervals. Thanks for tolerating me. :)

Brooke

Sooo..

I'm taking a break from the interwebs for a while... I'm starting to wander through the woods again, and I need to get a handle on it... to understand what I'm talking about, CLICK ME.
So, I'm going to be not on here for a while. But I'll be back, whether you like it or not. :P

Also, if you wanna see something not depressing,  Click HERE or HERE.


Brooke

Not Really A Post

I'm stilll working on my actual post... It's being decidedly uncooperative. HOwever i did come across this and was kinda amazed and wanted to share it with you all...

I'm Working On Something Special...

I'm working on a super spiffy blog post, However it is taking longer than anticipated, so I bring you my summer project...

I'm planning to create a Little Free Library!  However I'm not sure how I want to design it...  Anyhow, this isn't really a post, more of a "Hey, I'm not dead", type thing. :P

Also, Happy Father's day!!!

I Love You Daddy!

Anyway... Hi!  Hopefully I can finish the post in this coming week. If not I will for sure have some project photos for you.
All Little Free Library pictures were taken from the LFL facebook page.

It Has Been A Busy Busy Week...

A Busy Busy Busy Week. Between working (AM care for a quadriplegic on the weekend,babysitting for 6-8 hours at a time, and then tutoring) , and tearing apart my closet, putting in shelving, and then putting it back together, I have had very little time to do much of anything. I've managed to spend a bit of time with Bruce, and I took Emmy to breakfast on her birthday.  Other than that I have been searching for various other jobs to fulfill the 40 hours/week requirement my parents have set for me, in order for me not to have a ridiculous curfew. And honestly the closet has taken a majority of my time.

Here are some photos of my closet after the renovation.... Trust me, you DO NOT want to see before pictures. (There are none, because honestly, I didn't want to see them either.)

Oooooh!!! Empty Shelves!!!
Empty Racks.... Pretty much just empty.

Clothes!  A cutting mat, and a box of polyfil...
I'm 22 going on 93...
(And yes, that is a Build-A-Bear box on my shelf.) 

More clothes!!! Would you believe I got rid of 1/6th
of my clothes and this is what I have left?
I clearly have too many clothes.

The colorful bins are from Five Below.
The ones that look like wicker are from Jo-Ann Fabrics.

Tah-Dah!!! Organized. Now if only I can keep it that way!

I've made things!!!

 ^Bunny For Bruce's Newborn Nephew

 

 Hippo I made for me! Her name is Paisley.

 

She's so Pretty! And she weighs about 7.5 pounds.... Biggest stuffed animal I've ever made. :D Anyhow, I have to go finish some stuff so I can have an actual post for tomorrow... maybe...

Walking Through The Woods...

As anyone who has ever gone for a walk in the woods knows, you occasionally stumble on a meadow, or a clearing where sunlight dapples the ground, you feel its pleasant warmth on your face, and you feel peaceful and happy. You can hear the birds singing, and everything smells clean and fresh. There is a feeling of rightness and oneness with the world. 

http://www.movewithali.com/clearing-by-martha-postlewaite/

Which is to say, I've been having a few good days lately. I'm less depressed, and I'm actually having feelings again. I'm still not sure how things will work out with Bruce, but he and I are talking, and working on things that will remove stress from our relationship, so that's good at least.  I reached a low point where I became utterly and completely numb to everything last week, which frankly scared the hell out of Bruce, because this is the first time since we've been dating that he's seen me during a depressive episode. I think I'm coming out of it, but when walking through the woods you never know when you'll be snagged on a tree branch. So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm finding my way out. Getting closer to the edge of the forest, at least, I hope so.


Brooke

Yard Sale Season- This is pretty much a ramble.

We are finally getting warm weather in Michigan! And that means Yard Sale signs EVERYWHERE!!! I have no idea what it is about the weather, or if this happens in other places, but it seems like yard sales only happen in the area where I live at 2 times of the year, as soon as it is hitting 70 degrees pretty consistently in the late spring, and in mid to late fall... again when the weather is about 70 degrees... It seems to be a strange phenomenon where people try to sell their old junk to strangers only if it's a certain temperature out though... Hmmm... could merit investigation. Also could be a fun blog post...

In other news, my Tigers manicure chipped, so I removed the polish, and redid my nails in a floral theme. Each nail has a different floral image on it, but both hands match. (i.e.- the designs on my thumbs are the same and both my ring fingers are lilac and have the same image on them.)

I used konad's nail stamping plates for the designs,
both this time and when I did the Tigers manicure.

I actually bought the black nail polish at Five Below, and while I was there I discovered a nail polish drying solution that really works. It's from the company Fresh Paint. you put one drop on the nail and within 10 seconds the polish is dry... No joke. It's awesome. I also found......

They were only 3 bucks apiece!!!

Yep.. That's Right!!! Mini Tigers Pillow Pets!!! :D And I got one for Bruce!! :P (Sidenote: Bruce actually admitted to wanting a baseball bat... Although he claims it will be for bludgeoning intruders, I'm still counting it as a win for me getting him into baseball.)
I'm going to warn you though, that store is dangerous. Everything is $5 or less... Which seems like a fantastic deal (which honestly it is...) however when things are that cheap you tend to buy a bunch. And the stuff there isn't shitty quality. It's not department store quality, but it's significantly better than the dollar store.

Anyway, apparently this post ended up being a ramble about shopping in general... And nail polish... I swear I'm not a girly girl...

Being a girl...

It sucks... 

This is pretty much the only way to describe it.

Also, Whomever made this comic is a genius. I Love It.