Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Fifteen things.

There's a thing on Facebook where someone gives you a number and you have to say that many things about yourself that most people don't know... This is my list.

My number is 15 I am supposed to tell you 15 things about me that you may or may not know. If you like or comment I will give you a number if you haven't been given one yet.

1. I work 4 jobs.
2. I have ADD and Depression
3. I love to read when I have free time.
4. I'm terrible at cleaning.
5. I'm fairly crafty.
6. I like to sew, and can make a stuffed hippo in under 3 hours.
7. I may look like I know what I'm doing, but I honestly have no clue 99% of the time.
8. Many people think I have my life together, but I don't.
9. I love kids.
10. People asking me questions makes me feel anxious.
11. I may not look like I care what anyone thinks of me, but I really do.
12. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the people in my life.
13. I hide my insecurities behind a curtain of Bravado and false confidence.
14. I have a morbid sense of humor.
15. I'm a coward.

 In doing this I realized that I've been fooling myself about things as much as I've been fooling other people. It's funny how when after a period of time of acting a certain way for the rest of the world to see you start to forget that you're only pretending, how you're somehow able to convince yourself that everything is ok, and you're perfectly fine. How you're able to lie to yourself so convincingly that you don't question it unless you actually do some inner reflection.

 I don't feel like a fraud, but I do know that I'm not actually the person I appear to be from the outside looking in.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Guys... This Is NOT How You Get A Girl To Like You... PART TWO

So, this is the second email my friend recieved. To see the first one, which will give you some context, CLICK ME!!! This one is much shorter, but it just adds to the confusion and ridiculousness...

Subject: last email i promise  Well, at least that sounds promising.

hey, first let me tell you this is my last ever message to you. I kinda figured that out from the subject line.... I just wanted to say, that i have chosen to go back to western next fall.  I'm going to move into a house with 3 other friends. Because this will make you not a loser, right? I'm gonna get my woman back. Your woman huh? Oh boy... I mainly just wanted to tell you that, it would have been crazy if you gave me a chance, our lives would have changed. Well, Becca's life would have.... It would have permanently ceased. You are my 'crush' i will never tell my woman about. Oh gee, I'm flattered. Honestly, i liked your physical appearance because you looked a lot like my woman. and I'm really smart, and strong,  and its too bad you don't know.. Yeah... Too bad, I'm really feeling like I missed out right about now.  I would have treated you so good. we could go spend money, (AM I A GOLD DIGGER???)  driving in my awesome new black 2011 f-150...but, I'm just going to try and gain as much muscle and knowledge (physiology, the brain) as i can before i go to kalamazoo next year. You do know that the study of the brain is Psychology... Right? The study of the body's functions is Physiology.... I can't wait to see my woman. And she can't wait to give you a restraining order, I'm sure. You look just like her, so amazingly beautiful, you are a common specie,(Is that even a word?) you are a princess. wishyathebest in the medical field.

Did you forget how a space bar works??? You don't feel a need to explain the insanity of that last email??? I feel a need to forward this to "Your Woman" to give her a heads up... I have no words... This email kinda just boggles the mind...

In conclusion.... Guys, don't send creepy emails.... In fact, don't be creepy. If you suspect something you're about to do might be interpreted as creepy, don't do it! It probably is creepy or will be interpreted that way.