Thursday, April 11, 2013

And This is Why I Love My Best Friend... She's There to Reassure Me, AND She'll Help Me Dispose of a Body, Among Other Things.

So, not too long ago my boyfriend was seriously considering joining the armed forces. Which is fine, I support people who join the military and have tremendous respect for them, god knows I could never do it. However, I'm not sure I could be a military girlfriend/wife... Not knowing if someone is coming back would drive me crazy. Anyhow, the boyfriend has tabled the whole military thing for the time being because of medical stuff, which makes a part of me kinda happy, (Yay!!! I don't have to be concerned that every time he goes off for work he won't come back.) but another part of me kinda sad, because he really wanted this to work out. However the larger part of me is somewhat relieved, which makes me feel kinda guilty. Oh well. 

Anyhow, this is a conversation between my best friend and I during the time period where the boyfriend was seriously considering military service. My BFF is in blue, also I will be calling her Emily on here, because that is a silly nickname that happened while we were in high school, and while it is nowhere close to her name I will occasionally call her that... She calls me Maggie occasionally which has zero to do with my name (obviously)... But that's how we roll. Also anything that could affect the privacy of others lives has been removed from this conversation just to protect the privacy of others. You can tell where things have been removed because they are highlighted in white. And anywhere where I've inserted things i feel may need an explanation in order for my friend and i not to be perceived as crazier than we actually are, will be in turquoise.


hey... *Boyfriend* is talking marriage again... and now he's bumping it up... by two months... so, before he goes to basic...
but that wasn't why I originally wanted to talk to you...  My boyfriend and I have known each other forever (8 years) and he has been my best guy friend for 2 years... however we've only been dating for 3 months. To anyone who is unsure, Yes, you can get out of the friend zone.




I originally wanted to talk to you because... fuck... I can't remember now..
He literally just informed me of this 5 minutes ago.
I am flipping.

you said you needed ideas
for something

Yeah... I know.... but I can't remember right now... *Family story redacted because while I'm willing to share a bunch of my life, I don't want to breach the privacy of others lives*  
 I've been having some issues at home of late. Parents and such. Not going to go into the gory details because of the aforementioned privacy thing.

ah ok

yeah, and my grandma thinks she could have done something, maybe, to prevent that. and she doesn't want to see it happen again.

well even if you do marry *Boyfriend*, I doubt you will love contact completely.


lol I'm currently cutting up sweet potatoes and missing a finger


*using one finger

I was like OMG WTF?!?!! you're missing a finger and listening to me bitch? WTH is wrong with you.


yep. barrel of laughs over here.
and *Boyfriend* is telling me how he's researching what it's like to be married to a SEAL, (Yeah... He's fit enough to be a SEAL and is super into MMA and guns and stuff so his skill set pretty much makes him perfect for this type of gig, yet another reason I couldn't not let him join up) so he knows what he's going to be putting me through... Agh... This is crazy. It's not that I can't see myself marrying him... it's just so fucking fast.
why is it so fast?

because everything is up in flames around you right now

*Me unproductively freaking out and Emmy reassuring me because she is an amazing and wonderful human being who I am lucky enough to be able to call my best friend*

I don't know how to help
oh wait. I just yelled at *Boyfriend*
sort of
is he explaining himself?

um.... not so much... he's just kinda asking me about finishing at another university...
and I told him that that would be kinda difficult especially out of state...

and more expensive

I know!!
and agh...
I don't wanna drag you in the middle here...
but I'm not going to tell him not to follow his dreams.
I am a fucking crazy...
panda, tell me I'm not losing my damn mind...  (I call my Bestie Panda at times... Another nickname)
OH!! I know!
*Boyfriend* feels like I'm not entirely invested in this relationship.
that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I don't know how much more invested I could get, I mean, I'm actually considering leaving everything I've ever known in order to be with him for up to 6 fucking months per year...  (Military deployments)


I'm abandoning my goddamn life for him... and just because I refuse to let him fix *Family Issue* he thinks I'm holding him at arms length.
I don't know what else I can do. I don't want to sound like a raving bitch...
I mean, am I being crazy?

I don't think so
should I yell at him? tell him he's kinda piling things on top of what's already there?  (My boyfriend has also known my best friend forever, so her talking to him/yelling at him is really not something new, lol. We both did it before, we both do it now, they only thing that has changed between the 3 of us is the fact that Boyfriend and I are now dating)

he's just trying to get his dreams achieved, and I can't fault him for that...
*redacted boring stuff, me griping and whining and flipping out*

still. it's making you freak out

I'm freaking out because of everything. I mean I was kinda concerned about picking up and moving to Cali, but now?
this is just too quick.
I mean maybe it'll look better in the morning, but... it's quick, right?
I'm going to get a cookie... I need a cookie.. (my philosophy is that enough sweets can overcome any crisis situation)

get a cookie
sorry, trying to figure out how to unharden my brown sugar

cookies are gone... I'm eating frozen cream puffs... and looking like a chippie.


not as soothing as cookies, but it's ok.


*more of me griping and whining and needing reassurance that I'm not crazy... I swear I'm not usually like this*
Men....Can't live with them, and it's a felony to stab them while they sleep.
(to be clear, I don't live with my boyfriend, I just know where he sleeps and have a small pocketknife collection... Also, this is much more me-like.)

only if you get caught

lol. will you help?

of course

It'll be easier to dispose of the body with help.

yup. though he'll be REALLY heavy

It's ok. he's 180 pounds. I can carry 100 pounds pretty easily... and between the two of us, we should be able to roll him up in a carpet and shove him in a trunk no problems.


and then maybe feed him to some gators or something... we can work out the details later.

we'll take his car.

yep. his little shitshaker. 
(I make fun of my boyfriend's Hyundai on a regular basis because A. It is tiny and ridiculous, and B. I was raised in a family of people who work/worked for the American car companies and so I am naturally predisposed to criticize foreign cars.  Also, the thing has ZERO suspension, Just saying.)


oh and Psych's 100th is next week. (Swear to god this was the actual transition. we go from talking about murdering my boyfriend, to a TV show, without any notice.)

ooo I need to get crackin!
I haven't been keeping up
I only saw the first ep and then none since

I just watched yesterday's... it was... weird.
but they're running a marathon of it... I think Tuesday and Wednesday next week.
all 99 prior episodes I think.

And then we said goodnight, and went to sleep... So, yeah. This is why I love my Best Friend. She is always there for me, gives me reassurance when I need it, is willing to discuss how we'd go about disposing of a body, and doesn't blink an eye when the topic changes to something completely unrelated. She makes me feel semi-normal. Because she's just as crazy as I am.  And I don't know where I'd be without her.

A picture I created a few years ago for a blog we were going to run together, that kinda fell apart. This was also when we were both writing stories and stuff. I've since found that i am much better at reading and editing other people's stuff as opposed to coming up with my own stories, however,  we did do posts for like a month or so. Not bad for having just started college at two separate universities. The idea for the blog was a book reviewing/sharing parts of stories we had written. Like I said, it fell apart.

No comments:

Post a Comment