Teaser

This is a Teaser for an upcoming post that I'm working on...

My friend is in orange, Bruce is blue... I didn't feel like typing "friend' over and over....

It IS A VERY Special Day.

Today is a very special day! It is the day marking the 22nd anniversary of the day my bestest buddy in the whole world joined planet earth as her own entity! Happy Birthday EMILY!!!

:D

I have known Emmy for ten years now. (Happy ten-niversary to us EMMY!) I can hardly believe it has been that long, but then again it also seems like I've known her for forever at the same time. I wanted to take a minute to celebrate Emily for the wonderful person she is and also because it is her Birthday! And I also wanted to celebrate the honor of having her as my best friend for all these years.


I'm not so good with the nice words to say about people. I'm quick with the snark, (as Emily well knows) but not so good with the nice things, but thankfully I know where to look to find nice things. These quotes are very true about my friendship with The Emmy.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
Robert Brault

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin

Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.
Jean de La Fontaine

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
Henry Ford

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter

These are some of the Emmy's favorite things or things that remind me of her:

 I just wanted to take the time to celebrate Emily in a way she deserves, not only because it is her birthday, but also because she is an all around amazing person who has been there for me whenever I needed her for the past ten years, and I am truly grateful for it, and humbled by it.

One Final Quote:

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.
Hubert H. Humphrey

Thank you Emily for your years of friendship, and here's to many more!

Brooke

Clothes Bruce.. Have You Heard of Them??

I Bring You More Weirdness from Emily and I...
Again, she's in blue.... I'm not. Also, any comments I make that were not part of the conversation are highlighted in turquoise.

I have awesome friends

Well, I know I'M awesome. idk about the rest of the people.

Though today I'm feeling very weird

lol

I know you are.

And everyone else is too

Can you turn off my brain?

Ummm... ask someone to whack you with a 2x4, that should do it.

Oh... you didn't want a concussion? Ummm... Then I really don't have any helpful suggestions...

lol

Did you see the shirts I found?

Yeah

They're awesome

I found one for Bruce, lol.

lol bacon?

Here is exactly what I sent him:

http://www.bustedtees.com/onswitch saw this... thought of you... because of your propensity to not wear shirts, I figured you should have a piece that lets people know that you are in fact wearing a shirt.

lol

Because, seriously, when we hang out, he doesn't wear a shirt... like 90% of the time...

lol

and I'm all.... "Clothes Bruce.. have you heard of them?" and then he just looks at me and acts like he's going to take his pants off...

. . . .

And I'm all "Stop that!! I'm a lady and I have delicate sensibilities"

And then he laughs because you just called yourself delicate

Actually that isn't what I say at all..

And then he didn't have to

I just whack him.

lol

But were I to say that I can imagine his reaction... he would look at me like "are you friggin kidding right now?" and then he'd realize I called myself delicate, and then laugh.

Called it

And then he'd harass me about it for the rest of forever.

Like I will be harassing him about the two full fives forever.

lol

None of that singles shit. I want my change in full fives damnit!

I want Scores of full fives!!! You hear me? Scores!

lol  (Apparently I Am HILARIOUS. . . Just Saying.)

I want a full score of full fives.

Yep... His life is going to be hell.

Yup

But yeah... I think I told you that I slipped up and told him that I felt dainty when he held me... he just will not let it die.

Yeah

So I will never again be saying anything of that nature.

Nope

END OF CONVO
Emmy wasn't very vociferous in this part, but it's ok, she got to chat more later about her potential beau... Who I have decided on a whim to call Beau.

Walk and Pee... Just Walk and Pee

And I now bring you another excerpt of a conversation Emily and I had... Once again, She's in blue... (because it's her favorite color)

I'm gonna take a walk. I need to release some energy and go pee

relay for life was fun last night. I'm going to miss this when I graduate next year.

umm... I hope you're not planning to pee mid-walk.

lol nope

ok. good.

just walk to the nearest building, inside, and then pee

they'll never know it was me

in a toilet?

no, in a urinal. i've always wanted to try it

You go girl!

lol

I might even meet my future husband

oooo

lol

he so handsome

XD

also... You GO girl...

XD

 

Yes, we are secretly 5 year olds... Ok... So it's really not that big a secret...

And This is Why I Love My Best Friend... She's There to Reassure Me, AND She'll Help Me Dispose of a Body, Among Other Things.

So, not too long ago my boyfriend was seriously considering joining the armed forces. Which is fine, I support people who join the military and have tremendous respect for them, god knows I could never do it. However, I'm not sure I could be a military girlfriend/wife... Not knowing if someone is coming back would drive me crazy. Anyhow, the boyfriend has tabled the whole military thing for the time being because of medical stuff, which makes a part of me kinda happy, (Yay!!! I don't have to be concerned that every time he goes off for work he won't come back.) but another part of me kinda sad, because he really wanted this to work out. However the larger part of me is somewhat relieved, which makes me feel kinda guilty. Oh well. 

Anyhow, this is a conversation between my best friend and I during the time period where the boyfriend was seriously considering military service. My BFF is in blue, also I will be calling her Emily on here, because that is a silly nickname that happened while we were in high school, and while it is nowhere close to her name I will occasionally call her that... She calls me Maggie occasionally which has zero to do with my name (obviously)... But that's how we roll. Also anything that could affect the privacy of others lives has been removed from this conversation just to protect the privacy of others. You can tell where things have been removed because they are highlighted in white. And anywhere where I've inserted things i feel may need an explanation in order for my friend and i not to be perceived as crazier than we actually are, will be in turquoise.

hiya

hey... *Boyfriend* is talking marriage again... and now he's bumping it up... by two months... so, before he goes to basic...

but that wasn't why I originally wanted to talk to you...  My boyfriend and I have known each other forever (8 years) and he has been my best guy friend for 2 years... however we've only been dating for 3 months. To anyone who is unsure, Yes, you can get out of the friend zone.

0_0

YEAH IKR?!?!

0_0

I originally wanted to talk to you because... fuck... I can't remember now..

He literally just informed me of this 5 minutes ago.

I am flipping.

0_0

you said you needed ideas

for something

Yeah... I know.... but I can't remember right now... *Family story redacted because while I'm willing to share a bunch of my life, I don't want to breach the privacy of others lives*  

 I've been having some issues at home of late. Parents and such. Not going to go into the gory details because of the aforementioned privacy thing.

ah ok

yeah, and my grandma thinks she could have done something, maybe, to prevent that. and she doesn't want to see it happen again.

well even if you do marry *Boyfriend*, I doubt you will love contact completely.

??

lose*

lol I'm currently cutting up sweet potatoes and missing a finger

O.o

*using one finger

I was like OMG WTF?!?!! you're missing a finger and listening to me bitch? WTH is wrong with you.

lol

yep. barrel of laughs over here.

and *Boyfriend* is telling me how he's researching what it's like to be married to a SEAL, (Yeah... He's fit enough to be a SEAL and is super into MMA and guns and stuff so his skill set pretty much makes him perfect for this type of gig, yet another reason I couldn't not let him join up) so he knows what he's going to be putting me through... Agh... This is crazy. It's not that I can't see myself marrying him... it's just so fucking fast.

why is it so fast?

because everything is up in flames around you right now

*Me unproductively freaking out and Emmy reassuring me because she is an amazing and wonderful human being who I am lucky enough to be able to call my best friend*

EMILY!!!!!

HELP!!! I's FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!

0_0

I don't know how to help

oh wait. I just yelled at *Boyfriend*

sort of

is he explaining himself?

um.... not so much... he's just kinda asking me about finishing at another university...

and I told him that that would be kinda difficult especially out of state...

and more expensive

I know!!

and agh...

I don't wanna drag you in the middle here...

but I'm not going to tell him not to follow his dreams.

I am a fucking crazy...

panda, tell me I'm not losing my damn mind...  (I call my Bestie Panda at times... Another nickname)

OH!! I know!

*Boyfriend* feels like I'm not entirely invested in this relationship.

that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I don't know how much more invested I could get, I mean, I'm actually considering leaving everything I've ever known in order to be with him for up to 6 fucking months per year...  (Military deployments)

uhh.

I'm abandoning my goddamn life for him... and just because I refuse to let him fix *Family Issue* he thinks I'm holding him at arms length.

I don't know what else I can do. I don't want to sound like a raving bitch...

I mean, am I being crazy?

I don't think so

should I yell at him? tell him he's kinda piling things on top of what's already there?  (My boyfriend has also known my best friend forever, so her talking to him/yelling at him is really not something new, lol. We both did it before, we both do it now, they only thing that has changed between the 3 of us is the fact that Boyfriend and I are now dating)

idk....

he's just trying to get his dreams achieved, and I can't fault him for that...

*redacted boring stuff, me griping and whining and flipping out*

still. it's making you freak out

I'm freaking out because of everything. I mean I was kinda concerned about picking up and moving to Cali, but now?

this is just too quick.

I mean maybe it'll look better in the morning, but... it's quick, right?

panda?

I'm going to get a cookie... I need a cookie.. (my philosophy is that enough sweets can overcome any crisis situation)

ok

get a cookie

sorry, trying to figure out how to unharden my brown sugar

cookies are gone... I'm eating frozen cream puffs... and looking like a chippie.

ok

not as soothing as cookies, but it's ok.

aw

*more of me griping and whining and needing reassurance that I'm not crazy... I swear I'm not usually like this*

Men....Can't live with them, and it's a felony to stab them while they sleep.

(to be clear, I don't live with my boyfriend, I just know where he sleeps and have a small pocketknife collection... Also, this is much more me-like.)

0_0

only if you get caught

lol. will you help?

of course

It'll be easier to dispose of the body with help.

yup. though he'll be REALLY heavy

It's ok. he's 180 pounds. I can carry 100 pounds pretty easily... and between the two of us, we should be able to roll him up in a carpet and shove him in a trunk no problems.

lol

and then maybe feed him to some gators or something... we can work out the details later.

we'll take his car.

yep. his little shitshaker. 

(I make fun of my boyfriend's Hyundai on a regular basis because A. It is tiny and ridiculous, and B. I was raised in a family of people who work/worked for the American car companies and so I am naturally predisposed to criticize foreign cars.  Also, the thing has ZERO suspension, Just saying.)

lol

oh and Psych's 100th is next week. (Swear to god this was the actual transition. we go from talking about murdering my boyfriend, to a TV show, without any notice.)

ooo I need to get crackin!

I haven't been keeping up

I only saw the first ep and then none since

I just watched yesterday's... it was... weird.

but they're running a marathon of it... I think Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

all 99 prior episodes I think.

And then we said goodnight, and went to sleep... So, yeah. This is why I love my Best Friend. She is always there for me, gives me reassurance when I need it, is willing to discuss how we'd go about disposing of a body, and doesn't blink an eye when the topic changes to something completely unrelated. She makes me feel semi-normal. Because she's just as crazy as I am.  And I don't know where I'd be without her.

 

A picture I created a few years ago for a blog we were going to run together, that kinda fell apart. This was also when we were both writing stories and stuff. I've since found that i am much better at reading and editing other people's stuff as opposed to coming up with my own stories, however,  we did do posts for like a month or so. Not bad for having just started college at two separate universities. The idea for the blog was a book reviewing/sharing parts of stories we had written. Like I said, it fell apart.